05.11.2016

When a doctor gives up on a patient…

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I’ve been working remotely with a fibromyalgia specialist for the past nine months, and we had our final phone consult on Monday. My contract is up this month, and I won’t be renewing for another three months.

I think we’re both relieved.

What happens to the doctor/patient relationship when you become THAT patient ... that patient who does everything right and still doesn't get better ... THAT patient who doctors give up on...

Our phone calls had become more tense and uncomfortable over the past few months. At some point, it became evident to both of us that I was going to be THAT patient … that patient who isn’t getting better … that patient who isn’t going to be a success story.

My doctor likes to publish patient success stories on his website, and I’d read so many of these during our first months of working together, hopeful that one day my photo and story would encourage others, too.

But a couple of months ago, I started to feel sad and a little bit resentful when I received his weekly emails and read the stories of fibro patients who were recovering. I wondered again and again, “Why them? Why are they getting their life back and not me?”

I’d been a good patient. I’d followed doctor’s orders. I’d bought all of the expensive supplements and diligently taken them morning, noon and night like I was supposed to. I’d lost 40+ pounds. I’d given up gluten. I hadn’t had a doughnut – one of my favorite things in the world! – in months. I’d stopped eating pretty much anything that might cause inflammation. I had worked so hard at getting better.

And for a few months, it felt like I was making progress. My sleep improved. I had more energy.

But my fibromyalgia pain lingered. Some days it was better, but it was always still there.

At some point, I clicked the “unsubscribe” button on my doctor’s weekly emails because I just didn’t need another reminder that my longed-for recovery was stalled.

And then the questioning began. Every time my doctor and I had an appointment, I’d ask, “Is there anything else I can try? Do you have any suggestions?” Sometimes he’d recommend another supplement, or more often, he’d stutter and try to change the subject. After a few weeks of this, I finally figured out he was all out of answers, and we were just biding our time until my contract was over.

During one appointment, his frustration bubbled over as he said I needed to stop focusing so much on my pain. Yeah, let me try that as my legs ache like abscesses, and my feet burn like I’m walking on fire. I will just stop thinking about it…

(To be fair, he did preface his comment by saying, “Don’t take this the wrong way but …”)

Before I hired him, I spent several hours researching his practice and treatment protocol online. I didn’t find a single negative patient review, and I won’t be the patient to write one either. He’s helped me more than any other doctor I’ve worked with, but I’ll admit the progress I’ve made isn’t worth the 24 months of credit card payments I’ll be making to pay off his fees. Still, I’m grateful for any improvement.

During our final appointment earlier this week, I could hear it in his voice … I’d failed him. Our conversation felt like any number of breakups I’ve been through in my life. I kept rambling about “not giving up” and how I’ll “keep looking for answers,” but I could tell he just wanted to get off the phone. Mentally and emotionally, he’d already severed our doctor-patient relationship because I’m THAT patient … the one who brings down his success rate. He’d rather move on to the next patient on his schedule … one who might actually make a recovery. Instead, he’s listening to me – for the umpteenth time – ask, “Is there anything else I can try?”

And then he said it – what I’ve known he’s wanted to say for at least the past three months: “No, I think we’ve exhausted everything…”

There it is. He’s given up on me. It’s over.

My jaded husband says my doctor has been paid, and now he’s moving on to other patients. He says my doctor doesn’t care about me at all. I don’t want to believe that’s true.

Just as my doctor’s weekly newsletters were a continual reminder of me being an imperfect patient, I prefer to believe my repeated complaints of pain are a reminder that he’s an imperfect healer … that his protocol doesn’t work for everyone.

Doctors want their patients to get better. They want to have the answers. They want to heal others. And yet there’s always THAT patient … that patient who does all the right things and still doesn’t get better … that patient who just doesn’t respond to treatment …and THAT patient just happens to be me.

So what now? I start over. I find another doctor…

I hope this one doesn’t give up.

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Comments

  1. Sounds like you just want to complain to be honest. He probably had done all he could do. Some times there is only so much doctors can do for a patient. If nothing at all is working. Or the patient isn’t willing to even acknowledge the fact that they are feeling better. Which you did state you felt some positive changes. You just don’t seem to want to focus on them. Nothing the doctor can do if all has been tried. We know so much about the body, but we know so little. I have read a few of your articles so far. You know there is no cure and that it can take time to start feeling better. Start focusing not he positives more then the negatives. I bet that alone will help you.

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      If you had paid a doctor thousands of dollars out of pocket to get better, and then he failed to do that, you’d probably complain about it, too. Just saying.

    • Rita Shaw says:

      You sound very insensitive, and are in attack mode. I understand how the patient feels because I’ve been there myself.
      Doctors are taught fibromyalgia is a desease. Thats not usually curable. Its fustrating for them not to have the answers to help thier patients. But the clues are there!! Fibromyalgia is really a symptom of another underlying deasease or condition.
      If they looked at the clues and checked each one thoughly, they might find the real cause.
      I had painful burning feet. That turned red and swollen. They gave me medicine for restless leg syndrom, for 2 years I had agonizing pain.I’d wake up all though the night with red swollen views protruding from my feet. I received no help until a fibro specialist realized my feet and calfskin were deformed. But he couldn’t diagnose why. Another Dr did a emg test which was postitive. They diagnosed me with perineuropathy, carpal tunnel, multi level stenosis, I was in a car accident before illness, concussion & severe whiplash…which knocked my whole system out of wack. But the clues were there. 1- clue was whiplash & concussion preceding illness, along with sudden onset of severe migraines, visability changes, severe onset of Stress 24/7 , lack of sleep caused by chronic neck, Spine pain. Which spread. Clue 2, perineuropathy pain, clue 3, left and Right foot surgery, clue 4, contacted Severe Mrsa within 8 months of accident, that my body in its jumbled up nervous system state couldn’t cure. Clue 5, diagnosed hypo pituitary, further effecting body to heal.
      Clue 6, multiple hospital visits bedridden, weak, dehydration and low on Posstasium. Clue 7, very high Nuclear IGG for chronic EBV
      Diagnosis…well original concussion effected my brain causing headaches. Eye disturbances, severe stress reaction overtime lead to blunted hormones, original whiplash caused severe spinal pain that preceded my neuropathy deasease of CMT…genetic deasease that effects nerves and muscles that’s very common 1-2500 but most dr’s know nothing about. Which explains foot, calf pain, etc. and abnormalitie…weakness and fatigue was combined effect, insomnia caused by whiplash, spine pain in overdrive. Which lead to hormone disorder which didn’t supply my body with testesterostone, hgh, to be severely blunted, so for a easy termanology was no nurishment to muscles while asleep to repair body. And set off increased cortisol so I was on chronic alert, further taxing my immune system before MRSA INFECTION struck and took hold because my body was already burnt down and my immune system was in overdrive already fighting reaccuring EBV infections, therefor leading to more sinus, viral etc. Infections….I know there is more. My point is? When accident happened they should of noted all the symptoms connections to concussion. Initial pain from car accident but fast spread to nerves and birth defects in area I was in agony nightly should of caught multi level neuropathy deasease attention to dr’s, stress over load should of prompted hormone testing, & chronic fatigue and dehydration should of been checked for all viral. Bacteria possibilitys, once cuncussion set everything in motion. My body and mind basically started to fall apart. While they checked over and over for Lyme desease. Once labeled fibromyalgia? All clues weren’t bothered to be added up…it took myself to Google everything in my file and to contact the specialist in areas to confirm deseases.
      So I know many of you have a lot of same symptoms that didn’t start with concussion or painfull accident. So you will have to dig deeper..are your hormones normal? Do you have neuropathic pain? Did pain run 8n familys? Along with other things like clumsiness, shortness of breath with exercise? Sprained wrists, ankles, history of viruses, bacterial infections?
      You have to be your own detective. Or forever be labeled fibromyalgia with no cure. Something started attacking your immune system? Now write a list of everything you remember from the start of illness and 6 months before, list of previous illnesses, accidents,infections, surgeries, abnormal blood tests, family illnessses, and google, google…until you hit on on any connections. Keep notes daily. They helped me 8 yrs later!! Be the best detective you can be. We all have the time. You have to want to disapprove and remove this useless diagnosis and find what fibro is a symptom of. Good luck..
      Please contact me with questions or with what you find.
      Rita @Ritashaw8588@gmail.com

      • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

        Hi Rita, I completely agree with you. It is important for people NOT to accept the fibro label. Now, I’m not in any way saying that fibro symptoms aren’t real. They definitely are!!! But there has to be something CAUSING these symptoms. People really need to – as you say – become their own detectives along w/ their doctors – and try to get to the underlying cause. If we can find that and treat it, then some of us may be able to get better.

        • Diana Barnes says:

          Right on target, Donna. As I researched beginning jn 1994, it finally became obvious that those with fms eventually found other underlying health issues. Thank you for pointing that out to your readers.

  2. I am so sorry your doctor was unable to help you further. It’a really disheartening to get so far but still not be where you want. I am sure you will not be alone. No doubt the Lyme has complicated matters. Was he open to the Lyme diagnosis?

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      This was an older post, before the Lyme diagnosis.

      • christine taylor says:

        I am disappointed. You have a moral responsibility to write an honest review yet choose not too. People will spend hundreds, maybe even thousands and some will end up like you. I want to unsubscribe from these emails but searched the site and cannot find the unsubscribe button. Please remove me from your mailing list

        • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

          I’ve unsubscribed you at your request. I won’t bash my former doctor b/c I didn’t get better. Looking back, it wasn’t HIS fault. After leaving his practice, I found out I have Lyme disease. THAT’s why his protocol didn’t work b/c it wasn’t addressing my underlying infections. He helped me the best that he could, and he was the best fibro doctor that I ever had.

  3. So sorry Donna, that truly stinks. We all have these ‘painfully awkward’ doctor ‘stories’, don’t we? It’s so frustrating to be in a situation where you know they’re treating you with condescension. I hope along with you that the next doctor will be the right one to help. Thank you so much for linking up at the Chronic Friday Linkup ~ Pinned/Tweeted/Shared♥

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      Well, now that I’m diagnosed with Lyme, it makes sense why his protocol could only help me to a certain point. You’re right…it’s extremely hard to find a good doctor.

      • Rosemarie says:

        I would just like to thank you Donna for all of the research, and articles you post. Every time I find something interesting, and that makes sense, it has your name at the bottom. It’s been 12 years of hell. I’ve been thru so many Dr.s, and tests, and medications that don’t really help, it’s exhausting. The meds work just enough to keep me out of the ER. Severe pain causes my body to shut down, throwing up, passing out, convulsions, spiked fevers to 104. I can’t work, I am not dependable, And I loved my job, I’m a caterer, I am all about great food, lol. it’s even gotten to the point that I took myself off the road. the severe pain, the fogginess, my lack of focus…etc, makes me fear for the other drivers safety. Every Dr. kept trying to tell me it was just depression, but I knew darn well that it wasn’t. I finally found a Dr. that cares, He has done tests that no other Dr. has even thought of. When these tests came back, and he looked at me and said, “this is no longer up in the air, these tests prove that your pain is very real, in fact I don’t even know how you’re standing in front of me right now”, I almost cried, and I am not a crier. He always spends any amount of time with me that I need. I apologize for taking too much of his time, and he always tells me, “don’t ever apologize, I am here to help you with whatever you need, even if it’s just to listen”. I don’t think he knows what to do anymore either, but he keeps trying, and that gives me at least a little bit of hope.

        • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

          Rosemarie, have you been tested for Lyme disease and tick borne infections? When I say ‘adequately tested,’ I don’t mean the tests given at the doctors’ offices. I mean w/ iGenex testing. The symptoms you mention are not typical fibro symptoms, but they are indicative of tick-borne illness. Please feel free to email me, donna [at] fedupwithfatigue.com if you’d like to discuss further. I was just recently diagnosed with Lyme. I have learned that people are often labeled w/ fibro when it is Lyme or other tick borne diseases, which are treatable.

  4. Donna, I feel your frustration!
    At my last appointment, I believe my dr called me an “outlier”.
    Sometimes it sucks to be special.
    Hugs,
    Julie
    Ps: are you considering dr G Lipten?

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      I’m going to work through Dr. Liptan’s new book and try some of her recommendations. I doubt I will ever work w/ her personally. I’m on the East Coast, and travelling across country would be hard for me.

  5. I think you may be giving this guy too much credit. I know first-hand that it’s hard to switch gears after you’ve built a relationship with a doctor over time, but this man was incredibly insensitive to tell you to “stop focusing on your pain” and your husband’s assessment may be at least partly right, that this doctor is more attached to the money than he is to you. I have a pet peeve about all that pop psych stuff because at the core of it is the belief that if you just think positively enough you’ll get well and I think that is really setting patients up to feel inadequate when that doesn’t happen, (the flip-side; implying that if someone doesn’t get well it’s because of their “attitude”). Alot of patients buy into that and it’s a shame because really it’s magical thinking and not based in science, and it perpetuates blaming the patient.

    In my experience it’s really the other way around; when I feel bad physically then I start feeling bad emotionally and it’s amazing what a good day can do for my morale. On days I have less pain I feel great emotionally (so I’m pretty sure “negative” emotion is an effect, not a cause of chronic illness).

    Besides, Fibromyalgia is one of those diseases that has been plagued by persistent psych theories and I truly believe that has slowed down research into real medical cures. Researchers need to stop focusing on people’s mental state and get into some real biochemistry and genetics!

    I have never been a big supplements person and I generally prefer to get my nutrition from direct food sources, so what I do is use alot of powdered Rosamary in my cooking and other simple herbs. I also am a big believer in Cannabis and am currently trying to get access to it myself.

    You might want to join this group on Facebook called Safe Cannabis On a Wing & a Prayer; https//www.facebook.com/groups147852932265028/

    It’s run by a nurse who is sick herself and is helping others make use of that option (not just hemp oil, but the real full-extract).

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      Thank you for the tip about the facebook group! For some reason I wasn’t able to access it via the link or by searching by name.

  6. Rebecca Rivas says:

    Hi Donna!
    I’m sorry for your situation. I’m sure most of us “Fibro people” understand this letdown all too well. Everytime there is new research or new ways of dealing with fibro, I’m sure we’re all going, “O.k., I’ll try this, maybe it will be the magic bullet.” But, alas, no such luck. It’s very frustrating, (as I sit here in pain, tired, and knowing tomorrow is another work week’s start, ugh). I guess I’m feeling dumpy today. Started LDN, about 2 months ago. Up to 3 mg. NOT FEELING IT! Maybe I’m just too impatient. Maybe dose not high enough yet. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      Hi Rebecca,
      You may want to play with your LDN dose and see if it helps. A few weeks ago, I interviewed Dr. Jarred Younger who did the LDN/fibro studies at Stanford, and he said some physicians are telling him that some patients are having better results at doses of 6 mg, 7.5 mg and even 9 mg.

  7. I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but you gave it your best shot and carried it out to the end. It’s too bad that he wasn’t willing to research other methods, and I would feel the same as your husband about already getting paid. However, the way that you show empathy for the doctor’s side is one of the many reasons I continue to read your article. You stay level-headed and focused, seeing both sides of the situation to provide a clear synopsis of the story.

  8. Shannon says:

    I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. As someone mentioned when a doctor pitches a book and/or sells their own supplements, I tend to be wary of them, but I certainly understand what it’s like to be out of options and willing to try anything. I think it’s really bad that he kept you on contract knowing full well he couldn’t or wouldn’t help you.

    You mentioned not seeing negative reviews about him. A lot of times you don’t see them because when someone leaves a negative review online, a doctor can come back and tell their version of the story. Apparently legal law can’t keep up with technology so doctors don’t bother protecting your privacy. I’ve seen reviews where people are vague about their medical history and focused on just the appointment, only to have the doctor reply with a long history of every medical problem the person had and the treatment they got. I’ve seen reviews where people say they had to erase the first one and rewrite it because the doctor violated their privacy on the Internet.

    Not saying your doctor is doing this, but I think issues like that is why many patients hesitate to leave online reviews that are not flattering.

    Also, I recently learned that on Amazon sometimes reviewers are paid to leave a positive one. I’m sure that goes for anyplace online, so I have learned to pay more attention to negative reviews and be a little more cautious when I see only positives.

    Anyway, I know it’s frustrating to feel you are getting better and then have things stalled or get worse again. I’m currently in that place myself. I was doing better when I was doing the Paleo diet and all this crazy health stuff. However, I have been going through major dental work for the past 5 months with more to go and had to alter my diet. We’re also getting our kitchen remodeled. For a variety of reasons, I had to quit many of my healthy ways and am currently in a flare myself.

    I hope you find something that works for you.

    P.S. Go have yourself a doughnut! Since you are on a gluten free diet, see if there is a gluten free bakery in your area. There is one in the town next to mine that is a totally gluten free bakery and small grocery store. If you don’t have anything like that, buy some Katz gluten free doughnuts. They taste almost as good as Krispy Kremes. The store where I live sells them in the frozen section. If you can’t find them, Amazon sells them as well.

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      I’m definitely going to check out those Katz doughnuts! Thank you for the tip!

  9. Annesse Brockley says:

    Hi Donna,

    I have enjoyed reading your blog. I do think I can help you find the answers you have been searching for. I have a Facebook page I post my research on if you would like to check it out. It is Autoimmune The Cause and The Cure. I would be happy to talk to you completely free of charge. Just message me through my page or email me if you are interested.

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      Hi Annesse, I will definitely check out your facebook page. Thank you for your offer.

  10. I believe that a healthy diet and supplements can go a long way towards creating health, including improving fibromyalgia symptoms. However, there is so much more. Exercise is critical. Paying attention to the mind/body connection is almost universally ignored but often fibromyalgia has roots in chronic stress or early trauma. Massage therapy can be very helpful.

  11. Patrice says:

    Wow, that is painful when a doctor gives up on you!!!

    I currently have a doctor who, I believe, doesn’t even believe I have fibro. She keeps treating me like I just have depression. It is incredibly frustrating and I just don’t know where to find a good fibro doctor in Edmonton, Alberta.

    If there is anyone out there from Edmonton and knows of a good fibro doctor I’d really appreciate hearing about it as I continue to suffer on.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and my hope of one day being in heaven where all my pain and suffering will be gone.

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      For years before I was diagnosed w/ fibro, I had numerous doctors say I was depressed and try to give me antidepressants. I’ve suffered from depression on and off my entire life, so I KNOW what depression feels like, and what I was feeling wasn’t depression. It was so frustrating!!! I hope you are able to find a doctor who listens to you and believes you.

  12. Brenda Ann Correia says:

    I sure can empathise with your story.
    My naturopath suggested that I eat clean, nothing packaged, bottled, canned, no dairy, no sugars of any kind, nothing made from flour, no processed foods, no alcohol, no caffeine, only natural fats, no dairy, no gluten, add tons of supplements and vitamins……..I could only do this for three months, and then, I gave up. It was too difficult to sustain such a strict diet, especially when I could not see or feel any positive results. Nor did cutting out many of these result in a cheaper grocery bill, made it more expensive. Specialty foods (gluten free), fresh vegetables,fruits,nuts, cold-processed oils, eg coconut, olive, organic meats/poultry……are very expensive here where I live, as most food-stuff is imported.
    Anyways fast forward eighteen months later, I am right back to where I began with her. I lost my way, my will, my spirit especially the past six months. Trochanter bursitis, overly sensitive bladder, other aches from Fibromyalgia, keeps me from having a decent sleep. I am super sensitive to light, noises, and feel irritable most of the time.
    Yesterday’s visit she has upped my Thyroid medication, upped my Diabetes2-Metformin, upped blood pressure medication, and has included now along with magnesium, tumeric, vitamin D, fish oil, melatonin, tryptophan, probiotic , vitamin B12. She also told me that because of my age 72, I dont have enough stomach acid, as although I eat a lot of protein, it is not being properly processed so need to supplement that…another pill to take!
    Although I am so grateful, for all the positive things of my health, I sure get down in the dumps sometimes. She told me as I continue to poison my body, so will my health challenges as many of our bodily mechanisms are all entwined.

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      I can relate to so much of what you said. It is incredibly expensive to eat healthy. I spend a small fortune every month on food. I’m glad we don’t have children b/c otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford it. And all those supplements are another fortune spent. I’m getting ready to re-evaluate my supplements and cut some out. I know some are really helpful for me, but others are probably just being urinated out in the toilet and do absolutely nothing. Good luck to you! Hoping maybe we will find some real solutions one day.

  13. Oh my goodness, this is liking reading about myself. I’m where you are. I’ve actually referred myself to another consultant because my hospital have given up. I’m so frustrated with them as I know there’s more going on and I’ve got some serious problems and they keep telling me there is nothing that they can do. 🙈👎🏼😢😢😢 I know though deep in my heart that there is. I feel your pain and frustration,

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      Thank you for your kind words. I knew others had probably been through the same thing. It’s very frustrating and sad, but at least our doctors have been honest about not being to help us so we can seek out another provider. At least they’re not continuing to take our money w/o doing anything for us.

  14. I had the same experience as you but the other way round! I left him! Please, don’t feel bad. I was told over and over that Chnese Medecine and Acunpunture works marvel with Fibro. So I tried, after each Acupuncture I was in pain for two days. I went for 10 and I stopped. Meanwhile he gave me some Chinese Medecine and some antioxidant. Still in pain so after 12 sessions and lots of money spent I told him it didn’t work and left.
    I must admit two things did work if you want to try it: a powdered Magnesium and a Magnesium Oil you massage on your pain with Lavender, Cobaiba and Pain Away.
    I am convinced now after trying Ayurveda, Chinese Medecine, Acupuncture and Homeopthy that nothing helps a Fibro Flair. Just grin and bare it, rest, sleep and take your mind off doing something you like.

  15. You are not a bad patient. You did what you were supposed to do. He did what he could do, sometimes the answers aren’t as simple as a single protocol. But, little step by little step you are getting better. Don’t ever lose sight of that.

  16. Tina Hensley says:

    I can feel your pain, literally! I have been through this so many times and am disappointed when I feel like I am being labeled as “doctor shopping”. It is as though we should be grateful for each tiny improvement. Perhaps we should however, as you stated it is impossible to not focus on pain especially when it affects every aspect of our lives. I have tried so many modalities of treatment and many have worked very well. I can’t begin to say how many supplements, diets, exercises and treatments I have invested in. Now I feel as though I have come full circle. I had an appointment with a new psychiatrist and we are addressing sleep issues as well as depression. This is where I started my journey at the Cleveland Clinic 7 years ago. I know this time is different I have become stronger, wiser and learned to know my body better than any doctor. So I will welcome his wisdom and treatment and pray that this time I will get just a little bit better. Maybe not back to the old me, that girl is gone. But a better version of me, with less pain. I pray for all fibro suffers to be good to themselves, be thankful for each little step and never ever give up.

  17. Steve says:

    Sorry to hear of your situation, similar to mine. I wonder how often it happens to people seeing “pain management specialists”. Mine was a physical med and rehab M.D., fibro and pain expert at local rehab hospital. Not the most caring person from the beginning, threatened that I told her I read everything on pubmed and elsewhere ( I have Ph.D. and good research background). One meeting she walked out while I was talking. It went even more down hill from there as we tried the few remaining possible meds with no result. The last session, unknown to me, she closed my file and said she didn’t think meds were going to help me. When I died what she would do in my place, she said to ignore the pain focus on my life. Then she threw my file on the desk and left. I was so shocked I called my wife and told her. The woman did not wish me well, say goodbye, etc. I wrote her a very nasty letter and copied it to the hospital chief medical officer . A week later she sent me a letter essentially calling me a typical angry pain patient. One sentence buried in the letter, probably suggested by the CMO, was a statement saying she hoped I would feel better. What really bothers me is that I think of her every morning when I get up in pain to face the day and know she has forgotten me. At least I have a nasty letter in her personnel file.

    • Donna Gregory/FedUpwithFatigue.com says:

      Wow, that’s a horrible, horrible doctor. I’m sure she was frustrated, but there was no need to take that out on you, the patient. From the sound of it, she probably has several nasty letters in her personnel file. 🙁

    • Rebecca Rivas says:

      Good for you, Steve. I wish you well!

  18. Christianne McCall says:

    Best of luck! I am still searching myself!

  19. I am so sorry this happened too you. It breaks my heart because it is so familiar dozens of times over. And it make you want to scream when someone recommends a new protocol and can’t understand why you wouldn’t even “try” it. You’ve just had your hope and your savings ripped out of you again. It feels like you keep getting into abusive relationships and you need to protect yourself by not listening to anyone. It’s why I almost didn’t sign up for your blog. But I’m glad I did, for honest posts like this one. Go into your shell, protect yourself, and don’t give up — even if that means you have to temporarily give up. My therapist explained that this process leaves you with dozens of unresolved relationships — a nightmare that you need to heal from before you start “dating” again. Writing an honest review on his website might give you some closure — but ignore me if you simply need to move on. I’m so glad I found your blog. Than you.

  20. ShyestOfFlies says:

    I don’t know if this is the case with that guy but I am wary of any doctor that markets their own brand of supplements to their patients. I’m sorry he gave up on you and that his protocol wasn’t the answer. I hope you are abke to find another doctor who can help you and won’t cost you so much!

  21. Donna, Thank you for your article. I can truly identify with your plight. My GP too was enthusiastic and eager to help. He researched fibromyalgia and readily adjusted my prescriptions when we discovered that, yet again, they were not working. He even referred me to a host of specialists that he thought might help me. When he mentioned that he was attending a workshop on “tapping,” I enrolled too, and tapped until I was black and blue. No matter what he suggested, the horrid pains and all of the other wretched symptoms of my disease continued to worsen. Still he did not give up on me and continued to try… Never did he suggest it was, “all in my head, a woman thing,” as others before him. He gave me the courage to keep researching and trying whatever I could find on my own, countless alternative and complementary approaches, diets, exercises—you name it, I tried it. Finally I prayed for a miracle. I even prayed for my own death, anything to stop the horrid pains and host of symptoms that accompanied them. Unable to work, look after my home or myself, barely able to move, I considered spending what little time I felt I had left drugged out of my mind yet still in pain in a nursing home. It was then my uncle suggested that I try Joy of Healing, the unique mind/body/spirit wellness work that helped him and his family and friends with all manner of issues. He felt that if anyone could help me it was them. And he was right! Thanks to them, I have been in remission, pain and prescription free for more than fifteen years. They helped me to discover and resolve the numerous unresolved issues in my life that, no matter how hard I tried to ignore them, kept resurfacing and making me so very ill. Thanks to them I have my life back from this terrible disease. I will forever be grateful to my doctor who kept trying and never gave up on myself, who gave me the courage to keep trying even when there seemed to be no hope. Never give up! Research everything, including approaches that are complementary and alternative to the medical. Trust your research and your intuition to guide you. After all, I was my physician’s “worst night mare of a patient,” because no matter what he tried he could not help me. But thanks to his not giving up on me, my reluctance to give up on myself and the life-altering work of Joy of Healing founders, Tamara and Andrew Overlee, I am well beyond my wildest dreams. And I am forever grateful! Love and blessings, Janet Komanchuk

  22. This is a common story. Even the best of doctors don’t have all the answers and most have very few. As to your question, “Is the anything else I can try”, my recently published book, The Truth About Chronic Pain Treatments: The Best and Worst Strategies for Becoming Pain Free” would provide some answers. It’s a thoroughly researched, comprehensive guide to the safety and effectiveness of a broad range of available pain treatments, some of which are little known and underutilized. It’s available on Amazon and anywhere else books are sold.

Trackbacks

  1. […] I just noticed the National Fibromyalgia Association shared this post, so I’d like to give an update on my progress. I was Dr. Murphree’s patient for 9 months. In the end, his program did not work for me. I did make some improvements using his protocols, but I feel like he gave up on me as a patient. You can read my final entry about his program here. […]

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